The Cost of Discipleship 12: Wesley: The Aldersgate Experience

 John Wesley was at sea, both literally and figuratively. He was returning from Georgia, the ship sailing under the lee of Ireland making for the huge Bristol Channel on the west side of England. Another storm had shaken him, and he was in despair. He wrote in his journal the words that I quoted last week: “I, who went to America to convert others, was never myself converted to God” (Wesley, Journal 1, 418-424, in Outler, editor, John Wesley, 1964, page 48).  

 What did Wesley mean? It is a harsh self-judgment, and he later (1774) wrote in the margins of his Journal, “I am not sure of this.” (Outler, page 48. See also Kenneth J. Collins, John Wesley, 2006, Page 78). Even this confirms that Wesley was not sure of his salvation, and that is the problem. Can disciples doubt at times? Can such doubt lead to surety on higher ground? 

 Wesley continued in his Journal, searching for a foundation, some solid footing to move forward in his journey. After all, is not a journal a record of a journey? 

 He recalled from Romans 3: 23, which we all learned as children, that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and that he was part of the “all.” Second, he reviewed his good works, and concluded that they were “so far from reconciling me to an offended God, so far from making atonement for the least of those sins … that they cannot abide his righteous judgment” (Outler, page 49).  

 Then Wesley poured out his heart: 

“The faith I want is a ‘sure trust and confidence in God, that, through the merits of Christ, my sins are forgiven and I reconciled to the favour of God’. … I want that faith which no one can have without knowing that he hath it…. …he is freed from fear, ‘having peace with God through Christ and rejoicing in hope of the glory of God’ [Romans 5: 1-2]. … And he is freed from doubt, ‘having the love of God shed abroad in his heart through the Holy Ghost which is given unto him’ [Romans 5: 5], which ‘Spirit itself beareth witness with his spirit that he is a child of God’ [Romans 8: 16]” (Outler, pages 49-50}.

What stands out here is not the knowledge of salvation but the personal assurance of salvation, an assurance that would bring peace and joy, of which Wesley had little. Wesley sought guidance from Anglicans, Lutherans, and Presbyterians. Not finding what he needed, he went again to the Moravians who had sung their way through a storm. He consulted with one of their leaders, Peter Bohler. Wesley continued to preach after Bohler said to him: “No: do not hide in the earth the talent God has given you” (Outler, page 54).

Wesley preached, often several times a day in different venues. His theme of a personal inner assurance of salvation was not palatable to some Anglicans; he was informed after preaching not to come back. “I was quickly apprised that at St. Ann’s likewise I am to preach no more.” “I preached at St. John’s, Wapping, at three, and at St. Benet’s, Paul’s Wharf, in the evening. At these churches, likewise, I am to preach no more” (Outler, pages 58-59). 

  Still searching and preaching, Wesley records the following event (Wednesday, May 24, 1738): 

“In the evening, I went very unwillingly to a society in Aldersgate Street (a gathering for prayer and study dominated by Moravians), where one was reading Luther’s Preface to the Epistle to the Romans. About a quarter before nine, while he was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ, I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, in Christ alone for salvation; an assurance was given me that he had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.” 

 Is it just a coincidence that St. Augustine was reading Romans when he was converted to Christ, Luther was reading Romans when he understood that “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” and Wesley was listening to Romans when he “felt his heart strangely warmed”? Or is Paul’s letter to the Romans one of the best places in Scripture where assurance can be found? 

 In his Preface, Martin Luther said: 

“Faith, however, is a divine work in us. It changes us and makes us to be born anew of God (John 1).... Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace, so sure and certain that a man would stake his life on it a thousand times. This confidence in God’s grace and knowledge of it makes men glad and bold and happy in dealing with God and all His creatures; and this is the work of the Holy Ghost in faith. Hence a man is ready and glad, without compulsion, to do good to everyone, to serve everyone, to suffer everything, in love and praise to God, who has shown him this grace; and thus it is impossible to separate works from faith, quite as impossible as to separate heat and light fires. Beware therefore of your own false notions and of the little idle talkers, who would be wise enough to make decisions about faith and good works, and yet are the greatest fools. Pray God to work faith in you; else you will remain forever without faith, whatever you think or do” (Martin Luther, Commentary on Romans, [1516] 1954, Page xvii).

 Wesley had taken the next step in discipleship of probing the depths of faith and God’s grace, not just with his brain, but with his heart.