Proverbs 18b

18: 1. The one who lives alone is self-indulgent, 

Showing contempt for all who have sound judgment.

You may notice that I skipped right over Verse 1 last week. Of course, I have not considered every verse along the way anyway. But, I certainly did not understand this one, and perhaps still do not.

I avoided it because I thought of too many exceptions. Does it mean to live in a house alone by choice or by happenstance? My widowed mother lived alone for 20 years after my last sibling left home. Not by choice. 

Does it mean to live in a house alone or to shut oneself off from the broader community that the house is in? When I was young, in the late 1940s, our farmhouse was at the north end of a community. The houses to the south belonged to, in order, a cousin, another cousin, an aunt, and another cousin. Farther away, a mile or two, there was a network of relatives and friends in every direction. So, by the 1980s, mother still had a vibrant community where she nurtured long-time relationships, including by that time three children living nearby..Not really alone.

Like many proverbs, this one is not a hard-and-fast law; it takes some work to understand.that It may be just a word of warning, setting up the reader for some proverbs that follow.

18:22. He who finds a wife finds a good thing,

And obtains favor from the Lord. 

Let us set aside the obvious sexism here since that will not be revealed for over 2000 years from the time of writing. This is written by a man to men. Or perhaps a woman would not necessarily think that finding a husband is a good thing. One wonders.  

Instead, consider that this proverb makes one think about what a good thing a couple can be, especially when both the wife and the husband are like a favor from the Lord.My wife and I take turns saying, “You’re lucky!” “No, you are lucky!” The truth is, we are both very lucky, or rather in our understanding where luck has nothing to do with it; we are both very blessed by the Lord to have each other. 

  19: 14. House and wealth are inherited from parents,

But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

This sets up an interesting contrast for us to think about. Where should we focus our attention, on gaining wealth or on nurturing relationships in a marriage, in a family,and in a community? There is a strong trend in American society toward individualism, toward survival at any cost, and toward competition for wealth. Way too much for us to go into here, but think of famous novels like The Great Gatsby, the Jungle, and Atlas Shrugged, or the more recent The Wolf of Wall Street. 

This proverb means something like, ‘You can inherit wealth, but you can’t buy a prudent marriage partner’.Other translations for the word behind ‘prudent’ are wise, sensible,  understanding, insightful, or congenial. Truly, two can be more sensible than one, if you depend on the Lord to send the right person.If not?

21: 9. It is better to live in a corner of the housetop,

than in a house shared with a contentious wife.

 21: 19. It is better to live in a desert land,

than with a contentious and fretful wife.

This is the other side of the coin.A marriage needs to be nurtured to last. And, it takes two to do that. Small slights, if not dealt with, grow into offenses that take on a life of their own.Remember that you are to take good care of the favors that the Lord gives you.